A Lesson in Courage

My Lucia Paloma became a Kindergartner, in what truly feels like a blink of the eye.  Our little family is adjusting to this change, and it seems to be smooth sailing thus far.  I miss her, but I smile as I think of her at her very own desk – navigating what feels so big to us – all on her own. 

Yesterday morning she fell while running to the school yard to line up for entry.  Her palms were cut and tiny tears in her leggings exposed freshly scabbed knees. She was in tears as I lead her through the chaos and mayhem that is woven through mornings of an entire elementary school gathering.  I squeezed her up to the front of the line and watched her new teacher hold her hand.  My heart was torn – as I had to leave her.

As the lump in my throat continued to build, she looked at me and bit her lip to stop her tears. She put on the most brave face.  “I’ll be OK mama” – and off she went. 

I haven’t stopped thinking about that little face and the example that she has set for me.  She’s inspired me  to soon share in this space a burden that has become too heavy for me to bear alone.  One that pales in comparison to the plight of many, but one that is profoundly affecting my family.  

She has reminded me to get back up again after being knocked down.  She has inspired me to be brave.

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Inspiration

It is found in the simple pleasures that fill our days and the little things that bring such joy, like trips to “the machine” to collect a trinket.

I feel it deeply as I watch her by the ocean; where she is so free and full of four-year-old wonder.  I see her chase seagulls, dance and squeal, and remind myself to accept her fiery spirit and growing independence.

It is abundant in the strength within family, as my brother has moved close and my children have another present positive role model.

It exists within the noise and the chaos – when I am willing to step back and identify the moments among the scattered trains and princesses – that always make this journey so incredibly worth it all.

Inspiration even seeps through the mundane and ordinary, and grabs my attention during moments like these:

It drives me to be better – as moments of clarity and gratitude make time stand still.  It is what urges me to hold tight to all of it. 

It is what compels me to place it here.

 

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