On Flying Baby Birds

Sometimes, I’m cognizant of my mind wandering to the when and the will.  A year ago, I thought:  Will Adrian always prefer his all you can eat nursing buffet to nocturnal rest of any kind? Will I ever experience a month without migraines?  When will I have an hour to myself?  Will Lucia get into her zoned school?  When will I sleep again?  Will they be better off if I work fulltime?

And now I sleep, Adrian stopped nursing a long time ago, Lucia’s in Kindergarten and I’ve found migraine help in a skilled acupuncturist.  I sometimes still experience self doubt in mothering.

Our children, our truest markers of ticking time, often remind us just how fleeting these precious moments of childhood truly are.  Like when I stop to hear the pitter patter of banging feet on the hardwood floors accompanied by the most beautiful symphony of belly laughs.  When I’m fully present in the rhythm of my grandmother’s rocking chair, with Adrian’s wisps of hair in my face and his gentile hand on my clavicle. When my eyes open every single morning to eyes smaller than mine, overjoyed to welcome a new day, arms flailing around my neck.

And all of the sudden, while making memories in mess, the days somehow slip into years and things that feel really big take place:

And I worry and wonder about the when and the will.

And once again I’m reminded that right now is what matters most

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Comments

  1. Love the pictures, and the whole idea of your post. So very true. I keep telling myself that this trying stage will be over soon, but then I realize I've wished it away.
    Going to try and live in the now today!

    Kerrie
    http://www.familyfoodandtravel.com

  2. Ah!! Beautifully written! 🙂 Parenthood is fleeting….just fleeting, which is why I take way too many pictures. When I dump my phone pictures at the end of the month the hubs is always like really “You took 498 pictures this month”? I know I won't be sorry in the end. 😉

  3. What a cute handsome little guy!

  4. Such a beautiful post! And so true. Sometimes the difficulty of the now overwhelms us, and we don't appreciate the joy it holds until much later. Learning to appreciate that joy now is the key to happiness on a personal and familial level IMHO.

  5. Well said! I had a REALLY hard day yesterday, chasing after my needy son and trying to “sleep train” my daughter (unsuccessfully with all the craziness going on in the house!). I was SO frustrated and couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. This morning I woke up thinking the same thing that you posted…my son ended up being an absolute angel all morning and I've decided to take things slow and enjoy my cuddle time with my little girl..because I know it won't last forever!!!

    • I struggle with this all the time. It's a hard perspective to maintain when we have super challenging days. Sometimes it's the subtle things or things that feel huge that me stop and focus on the now.

  6. Oh how adorable. I love that sign you made him. I hope you have a great day!
    xo
    Sharon

  7. This is a lovely post and I enjoyed reading it. I understand completely and wonder where has the time gone 🙂
    love the pics.. cool mohawk!

  8. You really have a beautiful style of writing Monica. The here and the now…it's so true that this is what matters the most. As mothers and parents I think we will always worry about what the future holds, or if the things that define our present days will ever change. I thought about that last night as Sofia finally fell asleep and I was able to put her in her crib instead of the usual bedtime struggle we've been having. She won't always be sleeping in our bed, so, so what if she is right now? In the long term scheme of things, it doesn't seem to matter so much. Thanks for sharing this 🙂

  9. I love this post. And the photos. Thanks for the reminder not to wish these beautiful moments away. I'm trying to slow down and just take it all in this year. 🙂

  10. Oh. My. Goodness. He is the cutest thing I've seen in a lonnnnng time. Why didn't I think of using a sign and the date in my first-day-of-school photos? You are so clever Monica. And this post is an example of your gorgeous writing style. You have the ability to capture so many of the small, beautiful moments of mothering…
    And I loved this post.
    Leslie (aka Gwen Moss)

  11. I feel exactly the same way. While I'm not a parent yet I try so hard to treasure the moment – especially with my parents and siblings who I know may not always be so close, or so young. Life goes by too fast.

  12. Your son has some serious style! Love the poses…watch out for him in fifteen years mama. He'll be a ladies man. 🙂

    This post gave me goosebumps…your writing is magical. Ever thought about writing a book? I'd so buy it/read it and share it with all my friends. 🙂

  13. You couldn't have said it better. I catch myself complaining about still nursing Riley but then I stop and remember that she is my last baby and growing up so quickly. These precious moments come and go way to fast.
    Thanks for the reminder!!

  14. Agreed! I'm your latest follower. 🙂

  15. I absolutely loved this! Thank you for sharing your time. Sometimes I wish we could freeze time, but living in the now with them … hearing them, seeing them, smelling them makes loving them take place… I feel you captured how lucky and blessed we are to have them. ♥♥♥♥

  16. This is absolutely touching and beautiful. Your love is clearly felt through your words. I'm a such a loyal fan of your blog Monica. Thank you for sharing. Right now IS what matters most.

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